21.04.2013

            21. 04. 2013. It's the day we chose as our day of 'promise' which in hope that, someday we could turn into something more than just a promise, a 'bond'. Truth be told, I didn't even like her at first, I knew nothing of her, she wasn't 'my type' hahahah. But as I get to see her day and day, as I get to know her more and more, and I thought to myself, 'shit, I'm in love with this girl'. She and I are 7 years apart, how could we fall for each other?

            I'm a hopeless romantic, I don't know how to win a woman's heart, I'm not even a gentleman. But I made the effort to win her heart, because I know how worth she is. She's priceless. Every day when I get the chance to see her, I'd buy her chocolates. Even if she didn't came for the night, I'll pass it to her brother to give it to her. And hey, she started to notice me, and I was really afraid of getting rejected hahaha. Told you I'm a hopeless romantic.

           Things was really going great, she started to share her stories, her dreams, even her secrets with me. To me that's a big thing, for someone to share a part of hrrself with you, now that's gratification. We started to notice we had a lot in common, from the way we think, we speak the same things at once, to the way we crack jokes, and best of all, our birthdays are only 2 days apart. That's a really big thing that we both share in common.

           It was two weeks into knowing each other, and I couldn't help myself, I have to tell her I love her. "But what if she doesn't feel the way I do?" "Screw it, I have to let her know, that I love her." I said to myself. 

And so I picked up the phone and called her, and i said, "I li-li-like you Ain." I blew it hahahahahah! It was like you're standing at the edge of the mountain. Heart's racing, hands were sweating. She was flattered, she giggled. But she didn't replied my confession -_-. And long before I know it, she accepted me as her boyfriend. It was the happiest I've ever been.

          Minutes turn to hours, hours turn to days, days turn to weeks, and weeks turn into months. We couldn't be apart, 24/7 we would be together, on the phone, face to face, hanging out, enjoy life together. We were in our honeymoon period. And it was the best I've ever experienced. We'd cook together, watch movies, take walks, feed each other, took care of each others. It was the best moments of my life. I was happy again, something I thought wasn't possible for 4 years. She bring out the best in me. She was there for me when no one else was. And she had my back through the edges

            But then I started to show her my true side, I made her cry, we often bicker, we screamed at each other, we broke each other's hearts...

I started to see her ugly side.. She saw mine.. But that's the best part of our relationship, no matter how bad we fought, no matter how bad things get, we always stayed true and through. That's when I know she's worth it. Because something easy won't last, and something last won't come easy. We struggled, we crawled.. But she has always had my heart. She never gave up..

              Months turn to years... She's finally had enough of me.. Of my bad temper, of my bad attitudes, of my insensitivity... She was my light, she was my doctor, my cook, my advisor, my therapist, and best of all she was my best friend.. Now she's gone.. All that's left are just fragments of our memories.. I cried for days and weeks.. I was distraught and very depressed.. I tried to convince her that she loves me, somehow try to find in her heart, that there is still space for me.. But I lost her. She understood me, she cared for me, she watched over me. But I guess enough is enough.. She had to go through with my mishaps and bad examples.. I am truly sorry..

             I can never find another like you. You changed my life. You helped shape me. Someone who poured so much into me, who had faith in me, who believed in me that we could be something more.. I ruined it.. He sent me a beautiful Angel.. Who is kind, full of compassion, filled with hope, and stayed true to me 'till the end. I'm sorry I broke your fragile heart.. I'm sorry for my insensitivity..  I'm sorry for everything.. I love you Ain, with all my heart. To this day, I'm still hoping for you to love me the way you did 2 years ago.. I can't change the past, what's done is done. All I can do now is wait and hope for the best.. 

            No matter what has happened between us. Know that when you have no one else to turn to, when you have no where to go, when you need a shoulder to cry on. I'll be here for you.. Because I know what it feels like to have the whole world turned against you. Know that I'm here, I'm here for you. Thank you for all the memories we shared, the laughter and attention, and the undivided heart and soul you gave me. I appreciate all of it. Not a day I regretted being with you. Moments with you, is what I cherish most.. I pray and wish for all the good things in life for you. Thank you Ain, for being there for me from the start. I'll always care about you, worry about you, watch over you and think about you. I miss us so bad... Forevermore you'll always have a special place in my heart, just for you. Maybe love will find us again, for there is always tomorrow ;)

I am proud to call you my best friend :)

                           

                   I love you, forever & always.

                    Farain 21.04.13